Fairy Tales, Life Agreements and Dance Class

You know the familiar story. Girl is told her entire childhood that the most important thing she can do is be chosen by a man for marriage and childbearing. Girl grows up and realizes it was all propaganda. Girl writes a blog about it in August of 2019. :)

The truth, or at least my truth, is that I didn't figure this out until after I had completed the entire list of imperatives handed down by my parents (and society!). By my late 20's, I had a husband, a graduate degree, owned my own home and two small businesses, and had worked my way into a significant leadership role professionally. Just as I was about to check the next box, procreation, I started to realize that something wasn't right.

Now, after many years, an amicable divorce (we were so young!), and a few geographic changes, I know what was missing. I had been so preoccupied with having a life of impact and progression, that I had never prioritized personal fulfillment. To be clear, I wasn't unhappy – I had great relationships, was having tons of fun, and was very proud of my life – but there were terms in my life agreement that were not sustainable for me.

My adult life has always been good, but now I am in pursuit of a life that is great! One of the most challenging and valuable lessons I've learned so far is that it is okay to be self-focused. It is okay to make decisions that feel right for me, even if people around me don't understand or have a different opinion.

There are still moments when I start to feel the proverbial "to do list" scrolling through my mind. In those moments, I work hard to stay focused on MY list, as murky as some of it might be! I've also taken steps to keep my life nimble in the meantime, such as reducing my overhead costs and freezing my eggs.

I am also super careful about the company I keep, only investing time and energy into relationships that are reciprocal, supportive, helping me to grow, and adding some kind of joy to my life.

There is so much more I could share on this topic, but I'll close with one of the most important things I do for myself. I make time to explore my creative talents. I have done stand-up and taken classes in dance, interior design, and improv, and I spend time writing each week. It's been so therapeutic!

We only have one life, and we owe it to ourselves to make it enjoyable! That's why I strive to focus on today, every day!