Relationship RULEvelations, Life Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Hey Free Timers,

I wrote the Relationship RULEvelations in 2011 and 2012, shortly after a break-up. Now, all these years later, they still ring true. My friends will tell you I follow them pretty well. I broke one recently and found myself in need of a refresh. Sharing them now is laying my soul bare for sure, but I hope they will help somebody!

It's long, so grab a cup of international coffee and settle in for some #truth.

Cheers, Genia, Free Time Aficiando

www.geniawright.com

Relationship RULEvelations

Life Lessons Learned the Hard Way

1. Trust your instincts. If your inner voice says, "run," put on your sneakers.

2. Celebrate your journey. Your life history isn't baggage; it's a "you" manual. Keep the lessons, lose the details.

3. Be selective. You have options, even if they haven't yet emerged. You don't have to want someone because they like you.

4. Be yourself. You're fantastic. Love yourself enough to surround yourself with people that appreciate ALL of you.

5. Be brave. It's okay to be vulnerable. Don't build unnecessary walls – you'll have to climb them and so will they.

6. Avoid premature attachments. You don't need to correspond with any new friend every day.

7. Make a fresh start. Give your new romantic interest a clean slate, and they will return the favor.

8. You were right the first time. Don't allow your feelings to manipulate you into overlooking the facts.

9. Sometimes we have to let go of the chase. If things come easy, that okay.

10. Set Your standards. Focus on your true desires rather than your minimum requirements. There is no need to convince yourself to settle. Don't plan to compromise.

11. Keep your standards. Be honest with yourself. There is no need to convince yourself to disregard your desires or ignore deal breakers. Don't create or allow excuses based on their circumstances.

12. Aim for the extraordinary. Forget about the statistics - Don't worry about averages.

13. Be Safe. Let someone know who you are with and where you are. Verify personal details wherever possible. Trust is earned.

14. Manage your expectations. Attraction is instant, but real compatibility emerges over time.

15. Be honest. There is no need to lie or keep secrets. It all comes out eventually.

16. Be Practical. Look for common interests, similar lifestyles and priorities, harmonious short and long-term goals, and complimentary social and familial circles.

17. Look for things in common. Opposites attract but common interests sustain chemistry.

18. Keep your priorities. Don't shift your schedule to accommodate a person that is new to your life. Prioritization is earned over time.

19. Know your role. Keep things in perspective. You aren't responsible for protecting the feelings or pride of someone you don't know well. You don't owe them emotional support, nor is it your responsibility to save them from their circumstances.

20. Don't rely on potential. Don't make excuses for someone based on their circumstance, Free then to find someone on their level. Don't waste time. Free yourself.

21. Focus on what is, not what if. Accept people for who they are today. You cannot influence someone to change. Change comes from within. Choose them for who they are, not based on their potential.

22. Listen when a person tells you who they are. If you don't, they will tell you again. And again.

23. Use sex wisely. Sex is casual or romantic – you can't have it both ways. You must define the terms and create boundaries.

24. Romantic sex requires vetting. Ensure the person meets all of your emotional and practical requirements before engaging sexually. This could take some time – there is no rush.

25. Casual sex requires a casual relationship: no dates, no lengthy conversations, no extensive texting, no emotional expectations.

26. Cherish your time. Keep your options open unless you have an explicit agreement about monogamy. Leave Yourself open for other opportunities.

27. Decide for yourself. You are the best interpreter of your experiences. You have to live with your choices.

28. Make a clean break. If a relationship ends, say a permanent goodbye. Make a clean break for the sake of your emotional freedom.

29. Don't box in. Be careful with labels.

30. Forget statistics. Don't Plan to be average. Plan to be extraordinary.

31. Diversify your interests. Your relationship is only one piece of your life. A full life includes friends.

32. Actions speak louder than words. Revising a promise can be just as bad as breaking it. It's up to you to be courageous enough to accept what their actions are telling you.

33. Recognize Red Flags. You cannot influence a person to change. Change comes from within.