Saving All My Love for Etymology
Whitney Houston was one of the best singers to ever walk the face of the earth. (If you don’t agree the prior statement is objectively accurate, please unfollow this blog immediately.) This is why I perform her songs to the best of my ability in every one of my concerts (a.k.a. me, alone, in the car or shower.)
One day, after my audience requested an encore, I stood and began to sing, "Saving All My Love for You!" I was halfway through the song before I realized I was singing about infidelity! How had I managed to memorize these lyrics, and sing them one million times, and never internalize the words?!?!?!
A few stolen moments is all that we share
You've got your family, and they need you there
Though I've tried to resist, being last on your list
But no other man's gonna do
So I'm saving all my love for you
How could this have happened? How had I let Whitney's perfect vocalization and delivery, distract me from the words she was saying that were clearly not in alignment with my personal values? How many times had I sung those lyrics to packed houses (a.k.a. me, alone, in the car or shower)? Needless to say, I was heartbroken.
After that, I started to think about what other words and phrases I use without thinking. It didn't take very long to realize that there are a ton of really violent colloquialisms that I was using all the time! For example, I would always say let me take a stab at it when volunteering to write the first draft of something and let me shoot you an email at the end of a meeting.
These phrases may seem benign, but they really aren't. For a person that has experienced related trauma, these phrases can be incredibly insensitive and triggering. I vowed to stop using these phrases and few others. Here are some replacement phrases for a few of the colloquialisms I am trying to eliminate from my vocabulary:
Colloquialism ~ Replacement
Let me take a stab at it. ~ I'll write the first draft.
Let me shoot you an email. ~ I'll send you an email.
Don't throw him under the bus. ~ Don't blame him/highlight his error.
I'm going crazy. ~ I'm feeling a high level of stress.
Just take a shot in the dark. ~ Make a guess.
Beats me. ~ I don't know.
I've got my plans locked and loaded. ~ My plans are ready.
It's time to bring out the big guns. ~ It's time to reveal our best option.
That meeting was murder. ~ That meeting was unproductive and boring.
I haven't researched the etymology of these various phrases because it doesn't matter – the language is violent, and I don't want to perpetuate their use anymore. We must find ways to love and support each other in everything we do. If we can avoid inadvertently normalizing violence, we should! (Don't even get me started on water guns…)
Harambee!
Genia Wright, Free Time Aficionado
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